Practice Safe Sax: Use a Neck Strap
by planetearthisblue
Summary: Perhaps even better than the memories that happen during band are the memories that happen within an individual section. Take a look inside perhaps the most hilarious section in the Aventine High School band: the sax section. Rated for language.
1. Prologue: A Sacred Bond

_Why do I like marching band? The first answer that springs to mind is "because of the people." But my true answer cannot be stated without first explaining why I like music._

_Music is more than just notes on a page. It has been described as "the food of love", as "magic", as "the refresher of weary hearts". It is the universal language, it expresses the inexpressible. The unique bond between performer and audience is considered by many to be the fuel that ignites the burning passion that many musicians feel for their art. But perhaps even a more special bond is the bond between performer and performer. This bond is what drives me to participate in marching band._

_People who are in a good band share much more than a love for music. A good band has a sort of inner sense. They know instinctively when to cut off. Their dynamics are in sync, and they unconsciously adjust their pitch to match one another. The true band breathes and moves as one, the many parts weaving through each other and supporting each other as though they were some sort of intrinsic blanket._

_Still even more sacred is the bond that forms within a section. The members share something more than a common instrument. As with many groups, the unique blend of personalities and interests forms a whole that, with a single part missing, would simply not be the same._

_Members of a section support and help each other with things both on and off the pages. The section would be found wanting were it to exist without the leader, the protester, the misfit, the flirt, the joker, or the peacemaker. Each voice adds a unique flavor to the whole, and within a smaller section it is more possible for one's voice to ring out but still exist as a vital part of the entire band._

Charlotte paused, her fingers hovering over the keyboard. Her English essay wasn't a lie, was it? Sacred bonds and instinct and all that. The sax section was like that.

Well, sort of.


	2. Chapter 1: An Epic Meeting

**Author's Note: Hey guys! This chapter's going to be a bit longer and more dry than the rest of the story, but introductions have to be done at some point in time. So just bear with me, aight? Oh, and I should probably mention my philosophy on point of view. Most chapters will be done from a different point of view, so the amount of descriptiveness will change from chapter to chapter. This chapter is from the point of view of a scared and confused freshman boy, and he's trying to focus more on what people are saying rather than what they look like. I've said enough. Enjoy the story!**

It was the official beginning of his participation in high school activities. The first official meeting of the marching band. Matt felt stupid to be nervous about it, but he was. He was also excited. Nicky had told him so many stories about the crazy things that happened during Viking Marching Band, and he couldn't wait to be a part of them.

"Hey Matt, just find a seat anywhere on the floor. I'm gonna go hang with Woody and the trumpet section," said his brother Nicky.

Matt glared at Nicky as his eyes scanned the room. Some raucous laughter came from a heavy blonde boy wearing aviators and casually leaned up against one of the legs of the piano. A few kids were wearing old band T-shirts. About ninety kids were there in total.

"MATT GIOUPAS!" said a familiar and all-too-excited voice from across the room. "Come sit by me, kiddo." The voice came from the direction of Kelsey, who had been friends with Matt since childhood. She had befriended his brother in kindergarten, and eventually their families grew close and now saw each other quite often. Kelsey was going to be a junior next year, same as Nicky.

Relieved to see the familiar face of a family friend, Matt meandered over. Kelsey patted the ground next to her and Matt sat down.

"Heyyyyyyy guys!" said Mr. Mahr as he threw open the wooden door and walked into the room. He pulled a chair onto the podium and straddled it, sitting backwards and leaning forward casually. The words "Welcome, Viking Marching Band!" were printed in large black marker on the white board behind him. "Who's pumped for another year of VMB?"

The entire room cheered. Matt was a bit shocked at how loud band kids could be when they got excited about something.

"So the purpose of having this meeting in May before band camp is just to get some logistics straight and distribute music, just so you all know. Right. So now it's time to go over some basics," began Mr. Mahr. "Once again, this ensemble is a voluntary ensemble. It's a great privilege that our school has that not everyone in band is forced to be in marching band and some of your peers greatly enjoy the fact that they don't have to be there."

The trombone section booed.

"I know, right? Well, if you're one of them, LEAVE NOW. Band is all about commitment and if you don't want to be here, don't be here. It's as simple as that. I for one am completely psyched about this year. It's gonna be AWESOME. You new guys, you're gonna love it."

Kelsey poked Matt in the side. "You totally are."

"Shut up, I'm trying to listen," said Matt.

"So just a couple administrative things I want to take care of…"

Boy, did Mr. Mahr talk a lot. Matt's mind wandered as the band director continued his far too enthusiastic speech. His eyes absorbed the band room. The band room had been renovated recently, but the stark white walls were filled with posters, pictures of former bands, and rows of various instrument lockers. Atop the lockers was a group of trophies.

"So band camp will consist of six hours a day of rehearsal time with a one hour break for dinner. There'll be some five minute water breaks to break that up, of course. And a five minute water break does NOT mean 'pile as many people as we can into the section leader's van and make a 7-11 run for Slurpees at 60mph', LOW BRASS." Although Mr. Mahr spoke in a disapproving tone, his smile betrayed him. He shook his head at the low brass section and laughed.

"I think that's about it for now. Just get your forms in on time and I'll see you all at band camp in August. Of course, section leaders, I expect at least ten hours' worth of sectionals over the summer. More on that later, check your emails."

"Except in the saxophone section our sectionals tend to be about 40% playing and 60% Ultimate Frisbee," said Kelsey in a low voice to Matt, smiling as she spoke.

"So section leaders, let's have a brief 'meet the section' now before we take care of business pertaining to school instruments," said Mr. Mahr.

Like any gathering involving large amounts of band kids, the room became chaotic as soon as the director finished talking.

"SEXIEST SECTION ALIVE!" said Nicky's section leader. "OVER HERE, HOTTIES." (Which was only slightly disturbing, since both the section leader and most of the section were males. And come to think of it, Nicky had said that most of them had girlfriends.)

"Flutes, come over here! I brought stickers!" said a girl cheerfully.

"OI, LOW BRASS!" barked a boy in a straw hat.

The room split into groups. Matt looked at Kelsey, hoping that she'd know where to go. Kelsey shrugged and continued talking to the person next to her.

"SAXES!" bellowed a large redheaded boy. "Let's go to the English hallway."

Matt stood up and followed the boy out the door. Kelsey and about three other people sitting around her got up as well.

"Hey bari saxes!" said an athletic looking boy to one of his friends as about a third of the band poured into the hallway. "Where are you going? The saxes are right here."

"Actually, the baris are part of the low brass section," explained the big redhead, walking up behind the boy. "They changed that for my sophomore year. The baris and the bass clarinets switched sections because their parts fit better with their new sections. The bari part is oftentimes closer to the tuba part than the tenor and alto parts. And most bands don't have bass clarinets that march, so ours usually just read the tenor sax music since bass clarinets and tenor saxes are in the same key. So the sax section actually has some bass clarinets."

Matt nodded, pretending to understand.

The group reached the hallway, chattering as they went. Matt remained quiet.

"Have a seat, everyone" said a tall and lanky guy with reddish blonde hair, addressing the group of about twelve or so assembled in the hallway. A poster about comma usage in the display case behind him had fallen, Matt noticed. The lanky boy smiled.

Matt once again took a seat next to Kelsey.

"In a circle, so I can see you," said the big redhead disapprovingly. Matt already didn't like the redhead. He seemed like kind of a jerk.

A few people groaned and then moved backwards without a pause in their conversations. Matt sat awkwardly. Kelsey basically ignored him. He'd get back at her later.

"HEY YO, SHUT UP" shouted a loud Asian. The section quieted.

"Alex, what are you doing? You aren't a section leader," said the guy with reddish blonde hair, a smile forming on his lips.

"Oh Hubbnar," answered the Asian boy fondly. "I practically am, what with hanging out with you and Goats all the time. Oh man, did you get raped by that calc test today?"

"No," said the lanky boy with the reddish blonde hair.

"DON'T CALL ME 'GOATS', ALEX," the redhead said in a scathing tone. Softening, he added, "That test was easy, beeteedubs."

"Shitcakes," grumbled Alex. "You am teh smarts then, Justin."

"Hey, why don't you let me actually talk to my section, Huang?" said the redhead. "Hi guys, I'm Justin. I'm going to be a senior this next year and I'm the section leader for the altos." He gave a halfhearted wave.

"And I'm Matt Hubbard," proclaimed the boy with reddish blonde hair. "I'm also going to be a senior next year and I'm the section leader for the tenors and bass clarinets."

"But they're basically the same section. I mean, we practice together and shit," interjected Alex.

"Not a section leader, Alex," said Justin, sounding slightly irritated.

"But yeah, he's right," declared Matt. "We practice together. And even though I'm technically not the section leader for the altos, if I tell them something they should listen."

"Ja. Sieg Heil," Alex proclaimed, extending his arm in the Nazi salute in Matt's direction.

Matt glared. "Really, Alex?"

"Alex, don't be an asshat," said Justin, punching him in the arm.

Matt continued. "We've got a sheet going around where you can put your name and cell number and email address. Sign it."

"We do most of our communication by email," agreed Justin. "I check my email, like, religiously."

"Dude, did you get that link I sent you? That's going to be one sweet game release, brah," said Alex.

Matt continued. "So hey, let's introduce ourselves. Say your name, your age, annnnnnd… one interesting fact about you. Let's start with Zach." He pointed at a boy with disheveled hair and a wrinkly polo shirt.

"Hi, I'm Zach and I'm gonna be a junior next year. My interesting fact is that there is nothing interesting about me." The boy shrugged.

"Wow, your activity is kind of a failure, Matt," said Justin.

"NO. That doesn't count. Think of something," said Matt.

"Uhhh," said Zach.

"Anything," pleaded Matt.

"HE HAS A CRAZY FRESHMAN STALKER," Kelsey blurted.

"Yeah, I do," said Zach, chuckling as he spoke. "Ha, 'barnyard.' Remember that?"

"Really? You have a crazy freshman stalker? So do I!" said Matt. The older members of the section laughed.

"Hey Kelsey, do you have any more letters from her?" said Alex.

"Nah, I haven't seen her in awhile," replied Kelsey.

Matt looked at Kelsey incredulously. _I'll tell you later_, she mouthed.

"See, Justin, this is good. We're thinking of things we have in common. We're bonding," Matt remarked.

"Do you want to bond with me later, Justin?" said Alex suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Wow, that was gay and creepy. Even for you," said Justin, scooting away from Alex.

"I kid," responded Alex in a good-natured tone.

"Moving on," said Matt pointedly. "Next?"

"Hi, I'm Scott, I'm gonna be a senior. And I work at Legoland."

"Hey guys, I'm Liz. I play bass clarinet and I'm gonna be a senior next year as well. My interesting fact is that-"

Matt Giopas didn't even hear her interesting fact. He was too distracted by the ridiculous amount of lip gloss the blonde girl was wearing. Seriously, her lips looked like they were made of wax. It was disconcerting.

"Hi guys, I'm Kelsey!" piped his friend from beside him, her smile poking out from behind her massively bushy brown waves of hair. "I'm gonna be a junior next year. And my interesting fact is that… my toenails are painted orange," she said, pointing out the first thing about her appearance that she noticed. She then wiggled said toes.

"Okay then," said Matt Hubbard.

"Wow, K-dawg, does the entire section really need to look at your feet?" asked Alex, casting a scornful gaze over Kelsey's tangerine toenails.

Kelsey ignored him.

The section's eyes rested on Matt Giopas.

"Hey, I'm Matt, and I'm going to be a freshman next year," said Matt quietly.

"We have two Matts now," Justin stated. "Someone think of a nickname."

"Matt Giopas, tenor sax" Matt Hubbard said, reading off of the marching band roster. "Hey, are you Nicky's brother?"

"NICKY!" exclaimed an athletic looking boy from the other side of the circle. "Hey Matt, wasn't he on swimming last year? People talked about him during water polo season."

"Ah Nicky. What a G," said Justin sagely.

Alex nodded. "An excellent fellow indeed, my good man."

"Yeah," said Matt, in response to his new section's queries.

"CALL HIM 'LIL G!" yelled Kelsey excitedly.

Matt groaned. Did she REALLY have to bring that nickname up again? His rapper phase had only lasted two weeks in the fifth grade, but she would never let him forget it.

"I'm not black and neither are you," said Alex. "I'm pretty sure that someone would shank us if we talked like that."

"Wow, that's not racist at all," remarked a girl whose many layers of foundation did little to hide her rather large nose.

"But that name IS kind of on the ridonkulous side," said Justin.

"How about we just call the older Matt 'Hubbnaire'?" said Alex, stretching out on the floor.

"CONTINUING MY ACTIVITY," said section leader Matt "Hubbnaire" Hubbard, clearly disliking the nickname his friend had suggested. "Dan?"

"Hello, I am Daniel Ziegman. I am entering my final year of high school and I enjoy paintball, transposing music from video games onto my alto saxophone, poking dead things with sticks, wizard chess, and squirrel hunting," said a boy with dark scruffy hair and a rather disturbingly large beard.

Everyone was silent, not sure whether or not he was serious.

Matt "Lil 'G" Giopas tried not to laugh.

"That's… nice, Dan," said Matt Hubbard finally.

"Hi, I'm Charlotte, I'm going to be a junior, and-"

"SHE ONCE WENT OUT WITH JAMES MCGRATH, " the girl with the big nose interjected, her eyes dancing.

"OHMYGOD GRACE, SHUT UPPPP."

Justin rolled his eyes. Then he turned to Alex. "Yeah, dude, that link was totally dragons. I'm pumped. When does it come out again? June fifteenth?"

Matt "Lil'G" Giopas found the section to be dizzying. There were about four conversations going at once. Justin laughed at something that Alex said and then poked Matt Hubbard in the stomach. The athletic boy, who had introduced himself as Phil, was saying "HOW EMBARRASSING." Which was odd, since he didn't appear to be talking to anyone. One girl was saying nothing and looked like she wanted to crawl into a corner and cry. Scott was having a heated conversation with Lip Gloss about whether packing or retail was a worse experience. The rest of the introductions were lost on him as he tried vainly to listen to every conversation at once.

"Okay, did everyone get the email sheet thang?" asked Matt, getting to his feet.

"Did you seriously just say 'thang?' Wow, my opinion of you has just dropped twelve points," joked Justin.

"Twelve points on what scale?" asked Matt.

"The Justin Getz Scale of Awesomeness and Badassery," fired back Justin immediately.

"Seriously, Phil, Charlotte is creeping me out. Why would ANYONE go out with JAMES?" wondered Grace.

"It was only for THREE WEEKS," argued Charlotte.

"Dude, I'm working eight hours straight in packing tomorrow," complained Scott.

"Guyyyyys, I still haven't done my introduction," whined Alex.

"HOW ABOUT A NICE HOT CUP OF SHUT THE FUCK UP!" bellowed Dan. He then extended his arm and flicked his wrist three times.

The section quieted. Mostly out of shock.

"That was unnecessary, Dan," said Matt Hubbard calmly.

"INTRODUCTION TIME. Hi, I'm Alex Huang, third member and only non section leader in the Trifecta of Awesome that is myself, Getz, and Hubbs. I'm gonna be a senior."

"Right," said Justin, ignoring Alex. "I think that I've got everyone's email on this list, yeah? Just keep an eye out in the next few days for an email with summer sectional dates. Matt and I have some things to work out first. Now go back into the band room, I think Mr. Mahr wanted the drum majors to talk to us."

The newly christened Lil' G felt more than a little lost as everyone got up and continued their excited conversations. He still had no idea who was who. The speed of the conversations in the sax section was blistering, and half the time he couldn't tell whether or not the section leaders were being sarcastic or not. And whenever Alex, Justin, and Matt conversed with each other they seemed to be speaking in another language. And what was the deal with that Dan kid? An endless stream of questions, worries and confusion ran through his head as he opened the band room door.

"Oh my God, I forgot how much I loved this section," said Kelsey as she caught up to him. "Matt, Justin, and Alex are so awesome. This year is going to be great."

"What makes you say that?" asked Lil G, as they returned to their seats on the floor.

"Look at how epic today was! The whole marching band SEASON is going to be like that!"

Lil G was slightly concerned about how the rest of the season would go if every day with the sax section was like this one. Surely his head would explode.

Epic.

Well, that was ONE way to describe it.

**Author's Note: See that review button? Please click it and write me something, even if I won't like it. I'll love you forever! (:**


	3. Chapter 2: The Saxtional that Wasn't

**Author's Note: Hey guys! So yeah, two chapters and a prologue in two days. I've decided to get off to a quick start because winter break is regrettably coming to an end. Sigh. **

**Props to CriticalSax for reviewing. The chapter was named in honor of you. I love the word "saxtionals." **

**I had way too much fun writing as Alex. (: Enjoy!**

Alex leaned lazily against Matt Hubbard's shoulder, bored. Of course their first summer sectional hadn't worked out. Even though the sectional was held in the same place as it usually was (the parking lot next to the playground of Pleasant Hill elementary school), Hubbs and Getz had once again done a pretty shitty (hey, that rhymed!) job of sending out emails. Because not everyone was as neurotic as Justin and checked their email five times a day. Or once in three days. It was practically the same thing in Alex's brain.

Not that he minded. Sure, Mahr-sauce probably wouldn't be too happy about it. Actually, the band director probably wouldn't find out. Or care. Whatevs, mans. This just left more time for him, Getz, and Hubbs to hang out. And then Alex could go home and play some sweet, sweet Diablo 2.

"So are you sure you don't want to stay and play Ultimate Frisbee, Dan?" Hubbcakes inquired. He fiddled with his sunglasses unconsciously. Aviators, as usual. He'd gotten them for ten bucks at Target and now he wouldn't take them off his face. It was kind of annoying. That and the fact that the sleeves on his bright yellow University of Michigan shirt were rolled up to reveal very pasty white arms. Freckly, yes, like the rest of his body, but white.

"No. I do not engage in such frivolities. I have to go floss my otter," the Ziegmeister retorted. He hefted his large frame onto his bicycle, raised his wrist, flicked it twice, and then slung his saxophone case over his shoulder. "I will be seeing you gentlemen 167 and," he glanced at his watch, "one half hours from now, am I correct?"

Alex knew that the Ziegmeister had some diagnosed mental issues, but still. That kid was CRAZY. Like, borderline Anne Coulter crazy. No joke.

Oh and how the hell were Hubbsies' arms all pasty? He worked as a lifeguard. His JOB was to sit and stare at water. And probably hawt chicks in very little clothing. And basically do nothing. Rat bastard.

"Yeah, same time same place next week," responded J-Dawg. "I'm sorry that not enough people showed up. We have some angry emails to send out."

Dan merely nodded and then pedaled away. Actually, 'pedaled' didn't really describe it well enough. More like "pedaled as though trying to escape from a Brute. Damn. Alex had just made a Halo reference. He'd have to go bleach his brain later.

"So who's missing?" Hubbs asked. "Let's start with my section. Scott told me he was working, we don't actually ever expect Liz to show up to anything, Matt's here, I'm here, Zach's here, and we have no idea about Kelsey."

"Kelsey? That's not like her. She usually emails you when she's not gonna be there," remarked Juggetz, frowning. "Huang and I are here, Dan just left, Grace appears to have fallen off the face of the Earth, Robbie said he has to buy pants, Bethany's here but leaving soon, Phil's here, and Charlotte's babysitting."

"Buying pants. Wow," remarked Hubbs.

"I already told him he owes us eight laps," Justin reported.

"Around what?" Alex asked.

"The world, probably. It seems like a fitting punishment," replied Justin. "After all, for us to have a SECTIONAL, we kind of need a SECTION. We can't just play Frisbee all the time. Mr. Mahr'd find out eventually. And then he'd make our skulls into pencil holders for his desk."

"But Austin and Peaches are coming in fifteen minutes for Ultimate Frisbee, right?" Alex queried. Austin and Peaches had graduated in May and were going to be college freshmen next year. Which was kind of teh suxxorz because now when there was an alto that was squeaking or not playing or playing something completely wrong there was no excuse and Getz would know it was him. Because last year Peaches had no clue what he was doing and Austin only played like, half of one movement of the show. And then there was Alex himself. Heh. Well, no one can hear the alto saxes in marching band anyways.

"Yeah, I have a Frisbee in my car. Wait, who is that?" Hubbs asked, pointing towards the unfamiliar small blue sedan that was pulling up to the school.

"K-Dawg?" asked Alex. "But she's 45 minutes late."

The windows were rolled down and even from halfway across the parking lot the small gathering could hear loud and off key singing to some random Creedence Clearwater Revival song. Yep, that was K-dawg, all right.

The car jerked to a stop, the front hanging off of the asphalt. K-dawg had just gotten her license, but still. Not the best driving in the world.

Not that Alex could talk, really, being seventeen and a half and still not having his license. Meh, getting one of those actually took work. And if Hubbcakes was still content to drive him and Getz around everywhere, everything worked out just fine and dragons and all.

"I CAN EXPLAIN," she pleaded before Justin or Matt had said a word, shutting the car door unnecessarily hard and practically tripping over her own feet as she hurried over to Getz and Hubbs.

"I'm looking forward to it," responded bro-Getz coolly. Hubbs just smiled, laughing softly. Hubbs was willing to let Kelsey get away with practically anything. They were pretty close, having often been the only two in their little tenor-bass clarinet subsection/orgy that actually ever showed up to anything last year. They should go out. Practically half the female population at Aventine wanted to get into Hubbs's pants. She was probably one of them. It must be those pasty arms. Sex beacons, those things were.

Kelsey took a deep breath and then began her explanation. "Okay, soooo, I was at my friend's house. And Anna lives in Meadowdale. It takes like twenty minutes to get to her house, right? And it was like 1:20 and I thought "oh, hey, I have forty minutes before my sax sectional, why don't I take it over there now? Well I went to her house to drop the shirt I borrowed from her off and I somehow turned the wrong way. Then somehow I was on the highway headed towards the city, so I panicked and then just took the next exit. Then I was at the mall, then the hospital, then the downtown of three towns over-"

"-then you took a detour to Los Angeles," interjected Hubbs, smiling. What a tool.

"It takes more than forty minutes to go to Meadowdale and back," commented Justin, eyes dancing. What the hell, Getz. If that would've been Alex, Getz would've ripped out one of his kidneys and made soup. Except not. Actually, he'd probably just pretend to be angry and then make the customary stabs at his sexual orientation. And they'd go play video games.

"NO, I swear. It would've worked if I hadn't gotten lost!" insisted Kelsey.

"Oh, K-dawg. It's a good thing we like you," said Alex fondly. Damn, it was hard to be angry at this girl.

"But it's impossible for you guys to hate me!" Kelsey said.

Wow, that was right on target.

"...because I brought another letter from Matt's stalker!" she exclaimed excitedly, taking a folded piece of notebook paper out of her pocket.

"REALLY?" inquired Justin, far too excited. See, what K-Lo typically did was give the note to Justin, who would perform a dramatic reading. And then they would all make remarks about how much Matt's little friend adored him and laugh at how red he got beneath all those freckles.

"Oh no," said Matt, closing his eyes.

Oh, sophomore girls. Alex would never understand how in the world they thought that writing love notes to a guy two years older than them and then passing them off via a friend would actually work in wooing him.

"But you have to wait 'til next week to read it, because I promised Grace she could hear it," said Kelsey, taking the note and putting it into her saxophone case. Justin looked visibly disappointed.

A familiar tan minivan/land whale pulled into the parking lot. Austin and Peaches.

"Hey, what happened to your guys's sectional?" said Austin, hopping out of Peaches's minivan. Peaches parked the minivan across three spaces. Hehe.

"Yeah, it kind of failed," said Hubbs to Kelsey. "We decided to just cancel it since we didn't have enough people here. Maybe if you had been there earlier we might've been able to have one. I mean, how does Lil' G feel right now? He probably thinks that this is what the sax section is built on. Lateness, laziness, unexplained absences. Wow, way to set a poor example," Matt teased.

"Actually, that pretty much hits the proverbial nail right on the head as far as our section is concerned, Hubbcakes," stated Alex. "We do laziness quite well."

"Stop it. I'ma smackabitch," drawled Justin in a fake accent, five-starring Alex across the chest. Ouch. His pecs were sore from lifting. Getz was an asshat.

"I bet it's because your show is so gay," said Austin. "I mean, 'West Side Story.' Seriously, what was Mahr thinking?"

"I know, I'm not a fan either," replied Justin listlessly.

"Hey, let's play some Ultimate!" said Hubbs, producing a white 250g Frisbee from his car.

No one in the sax section is able to resist the call of Frisbee, and a quick game began.

------------------------------------

So yeah, the sax section played Ultimate and crap. For probably a half hour. Alex and Justin were the proverbial fat kids. Except that Justin actually WAS a fat kid. Ha. Actually, despite his friend's chubbiness, Justin wasn't bad at Ultimate. Not quite the Frisbee Beast that Hubbsies and Austin were, but then again they were both swimmers and had approximately 0% body fat. The freshman and Phil weren't bad either. Kelsey…well, she was no longer throwing the Frisbee into four-lane streets during rush hour like she did that one time last year. Ha, that was hilarious. Good thing Hubbs is a pretty damn fast runner and rather attached to his Frisbees. Oh and Mary had come. Mary was also going to be a college freshman next year. She and Getz had some sort of weird thing going on. Maybe.

"Guyyyyys, I'm hottttt," whined Alex. "Let's get Slurpees."

"Aight, I'm in," agreed Justin. "It's hot as balls out here." He wiped the sweat out of his glasses.

About seven or eight of them decided to go get Slurpees. Mmm. Nothing like a Big Gulp on a hot June day. As the group piled into Kelsey's car, Peaches's minivan, and Hubbsauce's convertible, Alex went to go put his sax in Matt's trunk.

"Well, shit," said Alex, discovering that it wouldn't fit on top of Hubbs's tenor case, Justin's alto case, and the various collection of Frisbees scattered across the bottom of the trunk. "This is most definitely not gonna fit, brah, even with some serious sax case Tetris skills."

"Yeah, I have a V8 engine but no trunk space," said Hubbs. Psh. Stupid Hubbs and his rich parents and their convertible owning.

"Hey, why don't you just stick it in mine for now?" offered Kelsey.

"Oh thanks, K-dawg. You're a pal," said Alex, putting his sax into Kelsey's roomy trunk. Whoa, he'd been spending too much time with his friend Tyler, the drumline captain. He snorted at the lame sexual innuendos that went through his head. Heh. Sax. Into her roomy trunk. Kelsey had a fair amount of junk in her trunk. Okay, stopping now. "Hey, if I forget to get this back from you today, just take it home with you and bring it to me next week. It's not like I'm actually gonna practice or anything." He wasn't sure if she'd heard him. He assumed she had.

The group went to 7-11. Mmm. Big Gulp. Alex didn't notice much about the surroundings. He was too focused on his sweet, sweet 40oz of pure sugar.

"See, the problem of getting a Big Gulp when it's 85 degrees out," said Justin, licking his fingers, "is that it all melts before you can actually drink it."

"Yeah," said Hubbs. Wow, great contribution to the conversation. On his other side, Mary and Austin were having a debate about college dorm rooms. College. That was a scary thought. Holy crap, Alex, Getz, and Matt were graduating next year. Well, hopefully.

"Hey Matt, can you drive Austin home? I have to go to bring my brother somewhere," said Peaches, getting up to leave.

"Sure thing," said Hubbs. Aw, Hubbs. What a G.

"Hey Lil G, don't call Nicky. I'll give you a ride. You're like three minutes away from here," said Kelsey, tossing her empty plastic container into the garbage can.

So yeah, they all piled into Hubbs's convertible again and brought Austin home. Alex was in the back seat as usual. And of course, Justin and Hubbs fought over the music.

"NO. MY CAR, MY MUSIC," stressed Matt.

"WHY ARE YOU SUCH AN ASSHAT, MATT? LET ME HAVE IT, I JUST WANT ONE SONG-" Justin jostled with Matt for control of the CD player. Matt managed to control the car with three of the fingers on his left hand.

"NOOOO. JUUUUUUSTINNNNNN, I'M DRIVING. DO YOU WANT TO RUN THE CAR OFF THE ROAD?"

"NO, WE ARE NOT LISTENING TO YOUR SHITTY TECHNO!" yelled Justin. He dug his thumbs into Matt's wrist, causing Hubbsies to yelp in pain. He pressed "CD" and the stereo started blaring "Janie's Got a Gun." Wow. Aerosmith. Really. The two of them were sad.

"Guys, let's go to my house and play Rock Band," suggested Hubbs. He took it for granted that the other two would agree with him, and made the next passing the place where the sectional had been held. He then got in the right turn lane to get onto Aventine's main street.

"Hey! That's K-dawg again!" said Alex, pointing at a car that slowed down.

Justin frowned. "I thought she was bringing Lil' G home and then just going home herself. She lives the other way," he said. "You drove her home last year, remember?"

Kelsey rolled down her window as she drove by. "ALEXIHAVEYOURSAXANDIDON'TKONWIFI'LLBEATTHENEXTSECTIONAL," she yelled in a rush as her car zoomed past Hubbs's. And then made a very badass but very illegal U-turn. And then somehow her car ended up in FRONT of the convertible. What the hell?

Alex craned his head to try to see through Kelsey's back windshield. Kelsey swore quite obviously, throwing up her hands in frustration at her own bad driving.

"Just make the next left and then turn around," yelled Hubbs to her, hands drumming on the wheel impatiently.

Kelsey nodded. And then started to back up.

Into the convertible. Alex shut his eyes.

"SHIT!" yelled Justin, as Hubbs leaned on the horn. Kelsey slammed on the breaks, less than an inch between her bumper and Matt's bumper. Then Kelsey cut across the entire street, made a three point turn in a driveway, nearly took out a shrubbery, and started going the other way. Incredulously, Matt followed.

She made a left, then a sharp right. Finally she stopped driving and threw her car in park. Hubbs was nearly doubled over in laughter as the convertible coasted to a stop a good fifty yards behind her car.

"Go get your sax, Alex," said Justin, barely able to form the words. His body shook with laughter.

Kelsey popped her trunk and then rolled down her window.

"HOLY JESUS, WOMAN," yelled Alex, as he ran towards the car. "HOW did you misinterpret "take the next left and then turn around" as "back out of the right turn lane INTO Matt's car?"

"I'm not a very good driver," said Kelsey sheepishly as she popped her trunk.

"OBVIOUSLY. And I told you that I didn't even need my sax this weekend."

"Well, I didn't know if I was going to be there next week. And my little maneuver worked, didn't it? I wasn't going to hit his car, I swear!" Kelsey defended herself.

"Oh, K-dawg. The three of us are going to get out of here before you kill us all. See you next week," Alex said, ruffling her hair affectionately.

"Bye, Alex!" said Kelsey cheerfully, as she jerked her car into drive and squealed her tires on the way out.

Sheesh. Women.

**See that review button? Click it! Even if you're only going to leave me one or two words, I'll be as much in your debt as I was to the band mom who loaned me black socks the day I forgot some for a competition. **


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